


Devotion

by echoist



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-05
Updated: 2010-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-09 07:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoist/pseuds/echoist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kira and Matsumoto have a long overdue conversation about loyalty. Set during episode 168, but no real spoilers after episode 63.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devotion

        Matsumoto sighed, a sound halfway between sympathy and exasperation. The Vice-Captain of Squad Three had been in her – well, technically her Captain's - office for half an hour, pacing the floor. At this rate, he would wear a hole straight through the wooden boards.

        “Sit down, for heaven's sake,” she begged. “I'll make you some tea. Then you can finish telling me all about it.”

        Kira looked up, startled. Matsumoto wondered if he hadn't been so engrossed in his own railing against the newly appointed Captain that he had forgotten she was even there. She padded down the hallway to the squad house kitchen, returning after a few minutes with a piping hot kettle. Kira had obligingly seated himself on the sofa, and she measured out a cup's worth of tea leaves.

        “Now,” she resumed. “You were saying?”

        “I was saying it doesn't make any sense! I'm sure Amagai is more than capable, but we don't know him from - “

        “_Captain_ Amagai,” Matsumoto corrected, wondering if she imagined the glint of steel in Kira's eyes as she spoke.

        “He's a complete unknown,” Kira continued. “Frankly, it doesn't matter to me if he was a hot shot in the patrol units, he's going to have to prove -”

        “Vice-Captain!” Matsumoto exclaimed. “His appointment by the Captain General was approved by two other Captains, and that should be all the proof you need of his qualifications.”

        “We wouldn't even be dealing with this nonsense if Captain Ichimaru were still - “ He bit off the sentence as Matsumoto paused in the act of filling his cup, steaming teapot suspended in midair.

        “We wouldn't be dealing with a lot of things if Ichimaru were still here,” she finished, resting the kettle on a trivet. “But he's not your Captain anymore, Kira.”

_        He'll always be my Captain_   
; Matsumoto read the words as clearly on his face as if he had spoken them aloud.

 

 

* * *

_        “It isn't Kira,” Hitsugaya said, matter-of-factly. _

_        “What?” Matsumoto asked. “How could they promote someone else over Squad Three's own Vice-Captain? He's held the squad together all by himself since...since...”_

_        “Kira hasn't even mastered his Bankai,” Hitsugaya said with a shrug, saving her from finishing that sentence._

_        “Neither has Captain Zaraki,” Matsumoto huffed in response._

_        “No, but Zaraki Kenpachi took his seat by force. No one can dispute his right to the title, and what's more, his Squad supports him. Even if Ichimaru were still here, Kira could never have challenged him and won.”_

_        Matsumoto studied the floor. _   
Even if...

_        “Besides, Matsumoto...” Hitsugaya paused, his voice weary with the weight of unpleasant words. “We can't be sure where his loyalty - “_

_        “Don't say it!” Matsumoto interrupted, her face coloring as she realized she'd spoken out of turn. “For-forgive me, Captain. I didn't mean...it's only that...”_

_         “Matsumoto.” His voice was calm, even. “No one questions your loyalty to the Thirteen Protection Squads, least of all me. But you should know better than anyone why I'm worried about Vice-Captain Kira.“ _

 

 

* * *

        “When Gin made Captain,” Matsumoto began, hesitantly. “He requested my transfer from Squad Ten. Captain Hitsugaya wouldn't allow it, and later I heard that you had been promoted.”

        Kira clenched his fist, the sudden rush of anger as frightening as it was unexpected. “That's a lie! Are you telling me I was his _second_ choice?”

        “I should have known, Izuru-kun. I should have seen what he would do to you - “

        Kira slammed the teacup down onto the table, spilling scalding hot liquid over the sides. “Just what in the hell do you mean by that?”

  
_        I should have known he would break you, then pick up the pieces one by one and rearrange you to his liking. I know how soft his voice can be; I know what it feels like when he kicks you down, then offers to help you back up. I should have known you would believe him – believe _   
in   
_ him - _

        “Izuru-kun,” Matsumoto said quietly. “I'm the one person in Soul Society who knows him better than you do.” Kira absorbed her words in silence. “You're not the only one he left behind.”

        “Would you have gone with him?” Kira whispered, heedless of the burns spreading out across his fingers where he gripped the ceramic cup. “If he had reached out a hand to you, would you have taken it?”

        All the air seemed to leave her lungs at once and Matsumoto could not answer.    
_No_   
, she wanted to tell Izuru,    
_not for anything_   
, but she could see him, hovering above, eyes open to take in the sight of her one last time. She bowed her head and said nothing.

        “I thought as much,” Kira said, no hint of smugness in his tone, only a flat, resigned empathy.

        “Answer your own question,” she countered without looking up, grief like a band around her chest, no less tight now that she knew it wrapped around them both. 

        “What do you think?” he asked, rising from the couch. He left the office without another word and she sank to her knees, defeated. 

        “You're wrong,” she called after him, hearing his footsteps pause on the hard wooden boards. “As much as I – even if - “ she struggled against the lump in her throat. “My place is here, with my Squad, and the duty I owe to Soul Society. He understood that.” 

        “I know my place, Vice-Captain Matsumoto,” Kira responded without turning around, the hollow tone in his voice replaced by an edge of dogged fidelity. “My place is, and always has been, at my Captain's side.”

        His footfalls echoed long in her ears after dying away, resounded against the empty space in her chest that she knew had once been full. Duty. Perseverance. Loyalty. None of these meant anything without a heart to fuel them, and she envied Izuru that – the steadfast, unwavering pulse that would guide him back to where he belonged.

 

 

8/21/2008  



End file.
